I thought maybe I was done designing, but I realized I love designing! I just wish I was allowed to design. Now days I haven’t been able to really design anything, or pour my talents and abilities into anything I do. I want to make art again. Design art again. However I am not allowed to. So, I’ll just do what I am told, make what I am told to make, change what I am told to make. It sucks, it is discouraging, and well what I am producing doesn’t look that great, but its not really mine to begin with, its their’s done the way they want it. Its hardly art, and its bad deisgn, but I guess if the powers that be are happy thats all tat matters right? Just wish I could do design again, maybe use some of my illustration skills again… But what do I know about design? I guess tat 5 years at Disney and another 4 and half working at small marketing and advertising firms amounts to nothing… sigh.

Design has just lost its thrill. I hate what I do. I’m not sure what I want to do, but design… sucks.

So recently I did some serious scientific research on the true identity of Barack Hussein Obama. What I discovered was that Obama is not of African and Caucasian decent. No he is not, he must be of Asian decent! How did I discover this astonishing “truth”? Well I will tell you. I took the picture above and opened it in Adobe Photshop. I then used an incredible and insightful tool called the eyedrop. What I found will astonish you. Obama’s color breakdown is as follows. 

15 cyan

61 magenta

79 yellow

2 black

From this accurate and intuitive tool we discover that Obama is mostly yellow! Not black, or white. So if he isn’t a black man, nor a white man, nor a half black, half white man, but a yellow man, that would make him Asian correct! This must be the “truth!”

I am still wondering what i should be really blogging about. Lately it seems I have very little to be positive about. All I see around me is injustice and abuse. Shall I blog about that? The only problem with that is sometimes it tends to piss a lot of people off, and I am growing tired of people getting mad at me for what I blog about, instead of dealing, and fixing the problem that make me want to blog and rant. 

Maybe I should sketch more… 

So… I complain WAY too much. I am being confronted BIG time in my devotions this past week…

Yeah… I complain to much and I do not worship the Lord or give Him praise through the trials nearly as much as I should.

Me thinks I am living a little too much in my flesh.

I read about David, and I read about Paul and I see that in the midst of persecution, from a dark dingy cave, these guys could worship and praise the Lord.

I’m like well, I feel persecuted. Fellow staff members gossiping about me, judging me, seeking to tear me down. I feel like I am trapped in a prison, stuck in a dark moldy cramped dirty disgusting office, no access to research sites on the internet, no access to itunes for music, no window, poor lighting, no drawing table, and constant interruptions making it impossible to focus.

All making for a dreary and depressing time for me, a time where the furthest thing from my heart is praising the Lord. I don’t even want to get out of bed in the morning, I can’t seem to get the creative spark going, I feel emptied, and exhausted from fighting, and just trying to survive.

How does one worship in times like this?

Then I looked to Davids psalms…

Wow.

I read Psalm 86, and I am humbled. How can I be as humble as David? Here I read about a King of an entire people, yet the first things he cries to the Lord is that he is poor and needy… He goes on to talk of his trials, yet finishes with claiming the wonderful things of the Lord.

Well, I feel convicted…

I complain, but I don’t rest my complaints and trials upon God, I keep them for myself. I am idle in my grievances. Well, so begins my lesson on giving my pains, frustrations, and trials to God in a better way and not try to fix everything myself.

Thought I would just share some of my simple revelations, that took me a bit to come to grips with ha-ha.

God bless this community and all who are in it!

So I pray and worship Him who is worthy:
God is good, in the midst of evil, he knows my heart, he knows my pain, he knows the trials I face, he knows the persecution that attacks me. He protects me, he guides me, he is faithful to me, and he loves me. He will deliver me, help me God keep my eyes on you, I am simple, I am foolish, and I am weak. Everything I have is because of you Lord, I am nothing outside of you, and everything in You. My heart is tired, and frustrated with your call, with your people, help me to cast aside my flesh, and seek to do your will first! May you be glorified in everything I do! Thank you for your faithfulness God! Amen.

Apparently I am big news in Colorado, or at least in the art department at Focus On The Family. Recently a Sr. Designer at focus on the family applied for a job at a friend of mines church located in Arizona. My friend asked the designer to send him some portfolio samples of his work. Well I guess the Sr. Designer from Focus On The Family was confused by the request because 4 of the 12 designs were downloaded from my online portfolio on corflot.com and my flickr account. Nice! If it was me and I was going to rip off another artist and claim his work as mine in my portfolio I would have picked a much better designer. I myself am a hack, so when downloading my work you’re just downloading hack designs anyways!

Word to the unwise. The design world is small, and the Christian design world is even smaller. You think old ladies in old churches talk? Hang out with some Christian artists!

So you want to get young adults involved in church do you? Well, you’re doing it wrong.
If I can be as honest as I possibly can without offending anyone…

Most likely offend someone but thats not my intent. Anyways here goes…

Its not the fancy postcards, its not the fancy poster, its not the fancy name, or the fancy brochure. If people aren’t showing up to your event its because the last couple of events you have had have sucked.

People don’t care about how you market it. This generation has everyone and their mother yelling and screaming at them about this being cool, this being hip and try that, you’ll be pretty if you wear that kind of message.

Truth is they are tired. Irritated and jaded. So how the heck do you promote your ministry to them?

You don’t.

Christ does. You’re just getting in the way.

What I used to do.
When I was unsaved I used to help promote some pretty popular clubs in Hollywood. We tried everything to promote these 2 clubs when we first started them and in the end we learned that less was more. It wasn’t our awesome flyers that got them in, it wasn’t even the location (although both do help get the name out there) what kept them coming back week after week to the point of the line going down the block was simple.

We had good DJs playing great music in a venue that looked amazing, we had alcohol, and we had the right young hot people going there having an amazing time, and telling all there friends about it. Then we put up a site. The site contained nothing but a time, a location, and a section of pictures of the people who were hanging out there.

We gave it a cool obscure name that made no sense. (i.e. Club 82, Moscow)

We made it about the people, the music, and having fun, and they lined up and they paid to get in!

I know we can’t do all that in a church, because some of it is just sinful. But the reason they were flocking to the club on Friday wasn’t sinful. People are looking to belong, they are looking to fit in, they are looking for friends, and they are looking for fun.

People don’t go to church to go to a friendly church, they are going to church looking to make friends. People are lonely.
You want young adults to come to church? Well, they want to go to, they just don’t know it yet. They are STARVING for Christ, they are out there filling their minds and their bodies with anything and everything that will make them feel whole and complete. They’ll want Christ when they hear the truth, we’re just getting in the way. We better get our act together. Lets face some real issues our church most likely has that keeps this generation from participating in our church.

Christians Suck.
Your current participants are jerks. They’re rude and exclusive, which may work for an a-list Hollywood club full of the hottest celebrities, but it won’t work for a group of awkward, goofy, nerdy, and dorky Christians. They do the exclusive thing really well, they just can’t get away with it, people won’t want to be around if they are around, or if they are allowed to act like jerks.

These people need to either be dealt with, or even better, asked to leave. I’m serious. Nothing will kill your ministry more than a clique of dorky Christian snobs. It is much easier to go out to a dance club or bar alone or with one other friend and meet some new people and have a good time than it is to go to church and meet some new people and have a good time. The alcohol probably helps break the ice and make things a little easier, but no excuses. Insecurities or just plain being stuck up, it doesn’t matter, you cannot have cliques ruling the ministry time.

Christians are self absorbed.
Similarly as above, but take a look in the mirror. If the young adults aren’t showing up it might be because its not about them, its about you, or its about your church. Make it about them. What they are seeking, what they want to do, what they are into.

Remember you can’t be everything to everyone, but there are ways to get more people involved. Single out those certain people, you know the ones that are real, the ones that are natural leaders, the ones with real character, regardless of how “Christian” they are. Become real friends with them and invest in them, allow them to have say about how to run events, about what kind of events to have. About how to have fun, real fun, and for the love of God listen and take them seriously, they most likely know more than you do.

Be about them. From website to function. You have a website, great, make one specifically for this age group and plaster it with pictures about them, let them blog on it, let them add to it, let them put there stamp on it. In a world, and in a Church that tries to silence this generation give them a voice. Stop talking, stop preaching, stop telling them how to live life…

SHUT UP.

And

LISTEN.

Listen to their hearts, their issues, their dreams, their passions, their lusts, their problems, their sins, EVERYTHING! Just listen, and try and be a guide, not a know it all.

For once, give them a voice.

Then LOVE. Really love them.

It doesn’t hurt to ad some culture, some art, some music, some good coffee, and a clean comfortable place to chill.

Start small. Let the Holy Spirit bring them. Just be authentic.
Have an open mic. Invite local musicians to play. Have poets read. Have a DJ spin some music while people hang out. Get a pool table, and a good one, not a cheap one. Ask artists from all over the community and from other churches to show their work at an art show you throw.

What ever you do, make it about the people, not about your church.

And for the love of cleanliness buy some new couches and get rid of those old moldy and dirt hand-me-downs.

All this would be a good start.

I don’t wear slacks and a tie. I don’t work 8-5. I don’t punch a clock. I am not productive in a cubicle. I am not your slave. I will not be abused. I will not be ignored.

I am creative.

I need a window. I need music. I need to be comfortable. I need to fill my mind with inspiring thoughts and imagery. I need cleanliness, I need Godliness, and I need to be free. Free to think, free to express, free to explore, free to educate, and free to create.

I’m not talking about a comedy starring Rodney Dangerfield and Robert Downey Jr.. I’m taling about me. Yup that’s right Sean P is going back to school. This Fall I will be attending either UCLA or Cal State Northridge. I have not decided if I want to finish my degree in Psychology or take a new path yet. So for now I will work be working on my minor and just be taking a history class, and an art history class. I will also be taking some classes at the Animation Union in North Hollywood. I want to get back to basics and start to make a shift away from design and more towards illustration and art. I will keep you posted as I start the transition.

Might turn this into a painting… we’ll see.